Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The waiting is over?

Are you constantly waiting for something? Waiting for a job promotion? Your next vacation? Waiting to loose weight? Just basically stuck thinking the next thing to come along will finally change everything?
I am that person. Constantly looking ahead. And once I achieve something and tick it off the list I'm like: "OK, that's done! What next?"
This is definitely not the road to happyville.
I waited 10 years for this:

And once I got it I was over the moon for exactly 3 and a half weeks. At that point I became restless again.
Finding a job in these times is no picnic. It can be frustrating, demoralizing and exhausting. It is not productive to add fixation to this pile of messy emotions. And most definitely not productive to give in to negativity.
Which is exactly what I've doing for the past four weeks. And it stops right now.
Have you ever heard of the five stages of grieving? I seem to be stuck in a loop of anger, depression and acceptance. Although I'm not nearly as dramatic as this fella:


Update: the note in the photo is my graduation grade. It's customary at our University for the grade to be noted on the front page of the thesis.


  1. I don´t understand the writing, is it your diploma?
    Are you hunting for a job, or is the paper a job offer?

    I don´t think that I am a person, who is always waiting. I´m worse.
    I can´t stand it when things go my way. If things are perfect, I panic. I am used to have a small chaos in my small life all the time. I must have a problem. I waste my energy trying to solve problems, I have created myself.
    Having gone through analysis, I am so aware of this, but have not yet been able to feel happy and relaxed, when I have all the right to do so.
    Isn´t life complicated ; )!!

  2. Is the note a job acceptance?( Your English is much better than my Slovenian!!)
    Congratulations to you :-)
    - Next stop working up the corporate ladder!! ;-)

  3. Mette: I completely understand. It seems like you are afraid that the happiness in your life won't last, that something will inevitably come and spoil it.
    I've updated the blog post and explained the picture.

    bead addict: Still no job (see the post update) I came to ralize the job will happen but it's no good going around moping and complaining about the current situation.

  4. Oh I see. Sorry I got the wrong end of the stick!
    Job hunting can seem so relentless, but don't give up, you WILL get the job you want eventually.

  5. Ana, you are on the right track analyzing me. I have this feeling, that happiness is something meant for others, only not for me. Working hard to change my beliefs.

  6. bead addict. Should have added caption to that one. Thanks though. I already decided to take your sweet comment as an advance, maybe that will help me get the job sooner :-)

  7. Hi coffeeaddict, I once heard an experienced elderly man saying "being unemplyoed is part of the world of employment. It's just another facet. The only people I know who have never been unemployed in their life before were people who achieved/work in the civil service status. But this species (people working with uncallable contracts) is going to extinct in our country. Make the best out of the time you have now and you will lack in the hopefully near future. I know what you are going through. In that time, I learnt a foreign language that had intrigued me forever. Including stays in that country. It is very, very hard to learn a new language when working full time. Something I miss is the opportunity to leave and travel on long terms. Are there any countries you would love to visit and stay there for more than 2 weeks? Now is the time! Communites such as couchsurfing enable people with small budgets to go and see the world.
    But most importantly: having no jon is an experience most of us are going to make/already have made - and I can only put it this way: it was way better to make the experience around 30 for the first time and not around 50. Because by 50 it could end up being a traumatic experience, while around 30 it is a tough time that shapes you for the better. I see it as a immune-system you build during that time, you get to know a status that won't hit you that hard the next time it comes around.
    xo Paula

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  9. Oh thought you had a job offer when I saw the envelope...still that is to come.

    Very wise words from Paula. Ida

  10. Paula: Everything you wrote is very true and I absolutely agree with you. The main problem we have is that there is no programme to help young graduates transition into the working world. No trainee ship, apprenticeship,...everyone wants someone with a degree, experience and knowledge of at least two languages. It's frustrating.
    At the moment I'm looking into volunteering and I'm planning on picking up French.

    bead addict: I hope you got my mail.

    ida: Trying not to give in to self pity and staying positive is the best cure.

  11. yes, the working world is flooded with volunteers. Parents in France already started to revolt because they don't understand why their children should work for free.

    I am keeping my fingers crossed!!

  12. Ana, I'm so sorry to be late visiting, have been overwhelmed by family obligations with the US Thanksgiving holiday.

    I really like what Paula said. I'm 53 and it still speaks to me. Still, it was hard adjusting to the loss of my career.

    I had no idea you were not able to find work! It must be so hard, especially at your age.

  13. Susan: Aw, I thought you'd gone on vacation. Sipping mojitos somewhere warm...
    I don't like to whine, especially on the blog, but it's damn hard.