Thursday, September 1, 2011

The dress code discussion

I've recently been invited to a wedding. And though I love attending weddings, this invitation gave me quite a shock. The bride to be extended her invitation stipulating I don't outshine her. And apparently this stipulation comes with a strict shopping ban?!
More than five days later I'm still broiling over her words. I consider myself well mannered and as far as I've been made aware the proper guidelines for (female) guests attending a wedding are:
  • don't wear white or the colour the bride will be wearing
  • don't wear black; This one is controversial as I see the trend of wearing black has really taken off over in America, but not in Slovenia and I tend to support that. Weddings are joyous occasions so keep that black suit for a funeral.
  • the outfit should be suitable for the level of formality a.k.a. no breaking out the family tiara for a beach wedding
Other than that there is also the general rule of be respectful and polite, but that one pretty much adheres to any social interaction. So we're (I am) back where we started: my friend's comment. Why was it necessary for her to use that particular phrase? Mr. C, though he may be partial ;-) gave me an excellent piece of advice. He told me not to feel responsible for her insecurities. Because ultimately that's what it was.
Since the wedding won't take place until next May, I haven't decided what I'll wear or if  I will indeed be buying something new. But I couldn't resist browsing some of my favourite on-line stores for inspiration at least.
My favourites so far are these:

A somewhat retro inspired dress with a flared skirt in teal from Asos at €70,51:

Silk and Soie cocktail dress in a deep plum from Yoox at €175,00:

A classic Diane von Furstenberg from Yoox at €230,00:

An interesting print in silk knit by Issa from Yoox at €155,00:

A  minimalistic, if a bit short DAY Birger et Mikkelsen from Net-a-porter would be a good choice to change into for the party after the formal ceremony:

And if I were of a vicious temper I could always wear red as suggested by Bourbon and Pearls. This saucy little number from Bastyan at 70 GBP would do the job:


  1. Of course, I wasn't there when the instructions were delivered, so I don't know what the tone was....but my first thought on reading this was, "What a compliment!" Cause that tells me that she thinks your style rocks!! And, basically, your hubby is correct. She's insecure, and she was a brat in the way she went about it, for sure. Doesn't bode well for the marriage, since guys tend to not have a lot of patience with those attitudes. Anyway, I really like the teal dress, and the Diane multi.
    Does it make a difference there as to what time of day the wedding is? Here, the later in the day=more formal. So, if it's an evening affair, I seriously love the Slik & Soie!
    So have a cup of coffee with me, and forget about her insecurities!

  2. Well, well, an invitation already for a wedding taking place May 2012? Is there going to be one?
    I think that the addition tells something about the bride. Please don´t let it bother you. Instead, buy the purple dress!
    You will have plenty of time to use it b e f o r e the May wedding; )!

  3. Weddings seem to bring up control issues. I wouldn't worry about, just wear what you like. The DF dress is my favorite -- on you that is, not me :-).

  4. Shirley: A very apt description! I know my friend was probably nervous and tense, but the thing that hurt most was the implied maliciousness on my part. How could I want to outshine the bride? What kind of person would that make me? Of course intend to have a talk with her on the subject to clear the air.
    Since you asked, traditional Slovene weddings tend to be an all day looooong affair with plenty of ceremonies and rituals and ....
    Let's have that cup of coffee now!

    Mette: Yep, that would certainly make it an old dress long before May rolls in ;-P

    Susan: Weddings and the planing of one are both tremendously good indicators of people and their characters. It's not only control issues, it would seem everything comes out in the open.

  5. Mr C said it all....if you wish to go to the wedding wear what suits you.Ida

  6. Ida: Thanks! There are rare moments in life when a concise sentence says it all, this was one of those moments :-)